The van Putten Diaries

Before writing this, I read through my end of year post from 2022 and now I'm sitting here in a bit of a state of anxious shock.  I've changed quite a bit without realizing, and forgotten a lot as well... perhaps buried in an attempt at self-preservation.   In that post, I mentioned the overwhelming anxiety I felt when I thought about 2022 and how I was not in a good mental state to reflect much on it.  But now, I think about 2022 quite a lot.  When I can anticipate a huge life change, such as graduating or moving, I try to intentionally hold onto some distinct memories of that time and that place in which I'll never live again.  I have a lot of those from 2022 and they pop into my head at completely random moments every single day.  I had spent so much energy looking around me and sitting with the details of what I was seeing, of what my life was in Tacoma, while burning myself up in preparing to move.   I spontaneously think about...  ...

I started this blog post in October then never bothered to sit down and finish it.  I think it's an excellent place to lead into an end of year review, though, so I'm just going to add on.  The below text in italics was written almost 3 months ago, the rest was written today.   We've reached the point where our life here is very comfortable.  The honeymoon period is still there, but it's waning and I can feel that I've started thinking about things without the lens of bliss.  At least once every other day, Nic and I will look at each other and say something like "Yep, our life is great.  No complaints."  Even when it's a frustrating day or something happens that requires an urgent care visit, we are completely happy. This contentedness, this fullness, has become our new normal.  We are active, we have routine, our house has what we need in it, we know where we're going and how things work, the kids have friends and activities that they parti...

If you ask a Dutch person, they would say to not expect too much from the medical system here.  It's known for not taking concerns very seriously and suggesting paracetamol for just about everything.  They'll say it's too bureaucratic, that it takes too long to navigate the procedural steps, and that there's not enough choice. But. In my opinion, the Dutch (just like everyone else) also really like to complain.  And when you tell them how much it costs to simply exist in the American healthcare system without even having seen a doctor yet ($15k per year for 3 of the 4 members of our family, just in monthly premiums), they will relent and say something like "That's absolutely absurd.  Yes, I suppose our system is worth it for what you pay." And what do we pay in medical premiums here in the Netherlands?  Well... our kids are free... because all minors, regardless of their family's income level, are covered by the government here for any and all medical ...

So far, we have spent 7 months in the Dutch school system.  The kids have attended 2 different schools and we have toured 3 others, all of which are in one city.  This is, of course, a very limited scope, but enough to observe the differences from our experiences in US schools.  In this post, I'm going to talk about our direct experiences rather than the full detail of how the system works, start to finish.  I found this post extremely helpful to help wrap my head around the overarching ideas behind the system itself:   https://www.expatica.com/nl/education/children-education/dutch-education-system-100816/ What have these 7 months in school looked like, logistically? The first school the kids attended was in a diverse, working-class neighborhood with what appeared to be mostly second or third generation students - fully Dutch speaking students with backgrounds from Turkey, Morocco, Poland, and elsewhere that I didn't hear direct reference to.  Other th...

Among those in the US who know anything about The Netherlands in the first place, it seems to conjure an image of social liberalism in a wet climate.  The Netherlands is known as being the first country in the world to legalize marriage equality.  We think of Amsterdam as the gay capital of the world.  As we were preparing for our move, I heard a lot of folks in the queer family say something along the lines of "Wow, you're moving to a place where I'd actually be safe" with a hint of wistful jealousy in their voice.   All of this is true.  It is a socially liberal place with a climate that many would think is less than ideal, but I find rather perfect.  Gay rights are so engrained in the psyche of the population that the far-right parties use homophobia as the excuse for not wanting Muslims in the country.  It is, in fact, much safer here for queer people than in the United States and many, many other nations.  And the Dutch people as a whole...

This could have been exclusively in my personal blog, but I decided to to share it here as well.  These experiences are not exclusive to spaces in which being queer is unsafe, but they also exist in countries and societies that we think of as being more accepting.  I am both queer in terms of sexuality and also genderqueer (non-binary), but I can easily pass as neither when I'm out in the world.  I am married to a cisgender man and I haven't chosen to transition in a way that would make me appear to be physically more androgynous.  I even often feel most comfortable with femme gender expression, which makes it perhaps even more confusing for people struggling to remember to call me they/them. For queer and gender non-conforming people, new social interactions can be difficult.  Even more so for those of us who can't hide as easily.  We have to think about how safe we feel in this new social situation, who we feel can be trusted to treat us with respect and ...

We woke up Monday morning to a waterfall in our kitchen.  It had been lightly raining all night and it turns out our gutter was clogged.  You see, our kitchen is part of an add-on in the back of the house with a flat roof that serves as our terrace.  And the gutter downspout for said roof runs... inside of the house.  I assume the water goes into the sewer system after it has travelled through the pipe in our kitchen, but with the pipe clogged it was just raining indoors. This is one of many things we've had to learn how to navigate in Dutch houses, which are unexpectedly far more different than what I imagined.  I thought I'd share some interesting tidbits that we've learned so far, including differences in the house purchasing process.  We will, of course, be continuing to learn all sorts of exciting things for a long time to come, so please note that this is a tiny list and feel free to ask me questions to research if you're curious! Brick and sand I've...