The van Putten Diaries

This post was written by a friend who visited us with his family in May. Our kids went to school together in Tacoma and we lived in the same neighborhood. This visit was short, but we look forward to spending some time with them during our upcoming trip to the US 🥰 This summer we were fortunate enough to visit the Netherlands, France and Italy. Going to Europe was a chance to get away from a neighborhood that overwhelms my senses from the cars, the gun violence and those experiencing homelessness. Being in Europe brought solace for my senses, and times of stress for my older son's. I was at peace riding a bicycle through the streets while he stressed out that one of the many cyclists might crash into him. Our children were able to have a good visit with the van Puttens and we will miss the pigs from our farmstay. The only thing I missed about my life in the neighborhood in the US was baking bread and my daily meditation of feeding the yeast. Being back in the neighborhood after ou...

Miles declared recently, seemingly out of the blue, that when he is of the age to learn his 3rd language at school, he would learn French.  He said that if he could speak English, Chinese, and French (or Spanish) that he would be able to speak to most people in the world, and it sounded like that idea really appealed to him. I asked Miles if speaking multiple languages felt like a superpower... and he said no.  He said it just felt normal.  We reminded him of how difficult he found it to engage with other kids when we first got here and he didn't speak Dutch - didn't he feel that that experience signified that it wasn't actually normal?  Maybe, he replied, but he mostly just pretended that we hadn't mentioned that aspect at all. I certainly think being multilingual is a superpower, and I have always thought so, but I can also understand why Miles might disagree, even considering the difficulties he faced in his first few months here.  The culture around language...

The end of May was hard.  We lost 2 loved ones just 10 days apart, one a close friend and the other my mom.  Both were expected, as much as death can be, but being halfway around the world added another layer of emotion, I think.  We're still processing in our own different ways, and I imagine we will be for a long time yet. When we moved, I heavily suspected that the goodbye hug with my mom was going to be my last hug with her.  We continued to have weekly phone calls, which we'd done since before the pandemic.  There have been various periods in which I knew things weren't great for her and I wondered if it would be our last call.  I tried to treat each one as if it was and I did my best to pull her along with me in my stories, to bring her a few moments of joy.   Our last call was good.  I don't remember what we talked about while I took the dogs for a walk, but I remember feeling like it was a goodbye that felt kind of floaty.  She o...

REMINDER OF THE PREVIOUS INTRO:   If you know Nic at all, you probably understand that he's a walking encyclopedia for both relevant and irrelevant information spanning all sorts of subjects.  It's been just about a year since I spoke with him for this blog and there have been quite a few developments relating to his field(s) of expertise (particularly international relations) which I wanted to get his feedback on since people on both sides of the world have been asking.   I also wanted to give him an opportunity to check-in on a personal level, but he is far less analytical on that topic. ....................... Alex:   Okay, so is there anything else you want to say? Nic:  Various little things.  I'm finishing my Dutch class with my test on Wednesday.  I think I'm going to pass, but learning Dutch is slow.  I can speak with more people, but not to the point where I can go hang out with a Dutch person and just chat without switching to...

REMINDER OF THE PREVIOUS INTRO:   If you know Nic at all, you probably understand that he's a walking encyclopedia for both relevant and irrelevant information spanning all sorts of subjects.  It's been just about a year since I spoke with him for this blog and there have been quite a few developments relating to his field(s) of expertise (particularly international relations) which I wanted to get his feedback on since people on both sides of the world have been asking.   I also wanted to give him an opportunity to check-in on a personal level, but he is far less analytical on that topic. ....................... Alex:  Can you tell me about what's happening in Europe?  We've been asked by folks how Geert Wilders' victory in the Dutch election last November has affected our outlook and we know there's a trend towards the right in Europe, but is any of it actually changing your lens regarding our move? Nic:  There are a number of things that I thin...

If you know Nic at all, you probably understand that he's a walking encyclopedia for both relevant and irrelevant information spanning all sorts of subjects.  It's been just about a year since I spoke with him for this blog and there have been quite a few developments relating to his field(s) of expertise (particularly international relations) which I wanted to get his feedback on since people on both sides of the world have been asking.   I also wanted to give him an opportunity to check-in on a personal level, but he is far less analytical on that topic. Alex:   So, is there anything that's struck you as "Oh my gosh, I need to tell people about this thing"? Nic:   No, we've already talked about the bread.  I have adapted to liking the cheese too.  I think it will be hard to go back to American cheese when I go visit, but I think that you can live without European cheese if you haven't already acclimated yourself to it. But really, I think we alr...

I've been compiling some things that have thrown me for a loop since moving here and how they're different from what I expected.  I started compiling this list in the early months and have been adding to it.  As I come across more things, I'll add another post.  These will likely come after I visit the US this summer and remind myself about my previous life. Some of these things I'll be talking about in more depth, but some things are just everyday moments where I have to stop and think "Oh, it's like that here, apparently." Expected:   A socially liberal society with a corresponding socially liberal government. Unexpected:   A socially open-minded society that's more heavily "colorblind" and Libertarian than it is left-leaning activist.  The idea of "tolerance" not being enough hasn't really made it here yet, though I do also wonder how much of a bubble I lived in as part of an activist community in Tacoma which would skew my u...