The van Putten Diaries

I was asked recently about parenting in the Netherlands and I didn't have time to fully respond, but I've been thinking about it ever since.  I last wrote along this line in  my post about lifestyle changes  about 10 months ago and I've obviously gathered a lot more data since then, so lets dive into an update.  While you should definitely click that link above to read the whole thing (all of which is still perfectly applicable and fills me with joy), my previous summary is still 100% on-point: The difference between the two countries as a kid is staggering, and we haven't even gotten to experience much in this context yet.  When we visited here two years ago, we asked a fellow American about neighborhoods that were family friendly yet still in the city - and she laughed.  "Well... all of them.  This is a very family-friendly country" she said.  Kids have much more independence here and freedom to be themselves.  It's safer, by a long shot, s...

For some reason, I became very interested in the secondary education system a few weeks ago.  I read as much as I could find about it, asked my neighbors and coworkers about their experiences with it, and wandered around the city looking for the schools themselves. If you read my first post about education here, you'll hopefully remember that everything is open enrollment.  As an American, this idea seems pretty self-explanatory at the primary education level, but the process is drastically more interesting at the secondary level. The biggest thing that I think will be difficult for American minds to understand is that the expectation here is for the students themselves to pick their high school .  I know, how amazing is it to live in a society that believes minors are their own people capable of understanding enough about who they are to make their own choices and understand how those choices could affect their future?  Anyway, from around age 11 students will begi...

I just woke up from an anxiety dream about visiting the US.  It didn't feel anxious while I was sleeping, but in real life we're planning on visiting in August this year and I'm nervous about it.   The dream (as I can still remember it) started at a house that a friend had just bought.  It was a project house, kind of falling apart all over the place and for some reason they needed me to stay with the house while they were out.  Like, I was housesitting a run down shack that was still lacking the basics to make it be a "house" - I think maybe I was supposed to be guarding it from squatters?  The house was on one of those two lane roads that doesn't actually have any painted lines and there are cracks all over the place.  Grass grew off of the sides and led to vacant lots.  People did live nearby, it seemed, but everything felt so far away to me.  There were kids running around and I have a vague sense that there was a strip mall type of thing...

Before writing this, I read through my end of year post from 2022 and now I'm sitting here in a bit of a state of anxious shock.  I've changed quite a bit without realizing, and forgotten a lot as well... perhaps buried in an attempt at self-preservation.   In that post, I mentioned the overwhelming anxiety I felt when I thought about 2022 and how I was not in a good mental state to reflect much on it.  But now, I think about 2022 quite a lot.  When I can anticipate a huge life change, such as graduating or moving, I try to intentionally hold onto some distinct memories of that time and that place in which I'll never live again.  I have a lot of those from 2022 and they pop into my head at completely random moments every single day.  I had spent so much energy looking around me and sitting with the details of what I was seeing, of what my life was in Tacoma, while burning myself up in preparing to move.   I spontaneously think about...  ...

I started this blog post in October then never bothered to sit down and finish it.  I think it's an excellent place to lead into an end of year review, though, so I'm just going to add on.  The below text in italics was written almost 3 months ago, the rest was written today.   We've reached the point where our life here is very comfortable.  The honeymoon period is still there, but it's waning and I can feel that I've started thinking about things without the lens of bliss.  At least once every other day, Nic and I will look at each other and say something like "Yep, our life is great.  No complaints."  Even when it's a frustrating day or something happens that requires an urgent care visit, we are completely happy. This contentedness, this fullness, has become our new normal.  We are active, we have routine, our house has what we need in it, we know where we're going and how things work, the kids have friends and activities that they parti...

If you ask a Dutch person, they would say to not expect too much from the medical system here.  It's known for not taking concerns very seriously and suggesting paracetamol for just about everything.  They'll say it's too bureaucratic, that it takes too long to navigate the procedural steps, and that there's not enough choice. But. In my opinion, the Dutch (just like everyone else) also really like to complain.  And when you tell them how much it costs to simply exist in the American healthcare system without even having seen a doctor yet ($15k per year for 3 of the 4 members of our family, just in monthly premiums), they will relent and say something like "That's absolutely absurd.  Yes, I suppose our system is worth it for what you pay." And what do we pay in medical premiums here in the Netherlands?  Well... our kids are free... because all minors, regardless of their family's income level, are covered by the government here for any and all medical ...

So far, we have spent 7 months in the Dutch school system.  The kids have attended 2 different schools and we have toured 3 others, all of which are in one city.  This is, of course, a very limited scope, but enough to observe the differences from our experiences in US schools.  In this post, I'm going to talk about our direct experiences rather than the full detail of how the system works, start to finish.  I found this post extremely helpful to help wrap my head around the overarching ideas behind the system itself:   https://www.expatica.com/nl/education/children-education/dutch-education-system-100816/ What have these 7 months in school looked like, logistically? The first school the kids attended was in a diverse, working-class neighborhood with what appeared to be mostly second or third generation students - fully Dutch speaking students with backgrounds from Turkey, Morocco, Poland, and elsewhere that I didn't hear direct reference to.  Other th...