The van Putten Diaries

I tried to pull some thoughts out of Nic for a check-in, and he did have a few things worth mentioning but they all came out of him in bullet-point format rather than a narrative.  So, here you go: Nic isn't picking up Dutch as quickly as he thought he would just from existing here.  But Miles is, and that's great! Summer is nice.  Things are good. He's very glad that there's a dog park in the neighborhood because he does so like dogs.  And Saartje (neighborhood Corgi) is so soft. Nic does wish that we had more friends and that he had joined the fencing club by now, but he's also aware that not everything needs to happen at once He misses people. He's looking forward to engaging in the upcoming Dutch elections and doing some volunteer work with a political party.  It's an opportunity to meet like-minded people and he really likes this work and how this work is part of his role in a community. The kids are doing really well growing.  Nic is absolutely loving...

It's been just about 8 months since we moved and it's hard to say whether it feels like it's been a long time or a short time.  We're established enough that we see our neighbors around town and we say hello (in Dutch).  We have a good idea of how most things about daily life work here and where to find what we need, or who to ask if we don't.  Yet, I still look out the window at the now familiar street we've chosen to live on and it feels novel.  It still feels a little surreal, like it's a dream come true but I had written off that dream and left behind so long ago that even the dream itself is unfamiliar.  I don't think about Tacoma often.  When I do, I'm no longer flooded with anxiety and discomfort.  I miss our house and our yard and our cat, and then I also really don't.  I miss some people and my spirit becomes full of love for them, and then I let it go.  I never hesitate to send them a message when I'm thinking of them, though. ...

Our neighbor said something a couple of days ago that has stuck with me.  We were continuing the generic "get to know you" stuff, us as internationals and she a Dutch person.  Towards the end, she said "It's not that the lifestyle there [in the US] is bad , it just wasn't the right fit for you ." I think this idea is something I've felt, but I hadn't been able to frame for myself in this context.  The way in which we live - our lifestyle - includes, and is determined by, so many factors that it's difficult to pin down.  But since moving here, something has just clicked.  I feel like I've settled into a memory foam pillow.  The feeling of something always being just slightly wrong has lifted off my shoulders.  I feel so much freer here.   I'm clearly still struggling to put what I'm feeling into words, but I think the lifestyle changes have had a huge positive impact on my everyday life and wellbeing.  When we decided to move, these th...

REMINDER OF OUR PREVIOUS INTRO: It has been on Nic's radar for months that I was coming after him for this blog.  He finally felt ready and we forced a few hours to ourselves over the weekend to talk - yes, I said hours.  My transcription of our conversation is almost word for word, so it's quite lengthy and I'm going to break it down into his specific points. This section is made up of follow-up questions to our original conversation. PART 4 Alex:   So, a few other questions. You came downstairs after putting the kids to bed on whatever day it was, January 3rd maybe, of 2021 and you just looked at me and you said “How do you feel about leaving the country?”  What made that your moment?   Nic:  My professor, my advisor.  It’s when I was chatting on Facebook with him.  Going back a number of years, I've been engaging in frequent conversations with my advisor from college, U.S. government professor now retired.  We would exchange thoughts o...

REMINDER OF OUR PREVIOUS INTRO: It has been on Nic's radar for months that I was coming after him for this blog.  He finally felt ready and we forced a few hours to ourselves over the weekend to talk - yes, I said hours.  My transcription of our conversation is almost word for word, so it's quite lengthy and I'm going to break it down into his specific points. Alex:   So why did we leave the United States? Nic:  Right… so, you have asked me to give kind of my take on the the political and systemic issues in the United States that made me not optimistic. I haven’t quite prepared this out, but I think it broke down into a few different issues.  First, you’ve got  the breakdown of norms that underpin our system , and that is something I started noticing as far back as 2011 and really crystallized in maybe 2014 to 2016. Second, we have the  systemic level imbalances in our political system that are on a trajectory to only worsen  towards greater minor...

REMINDER OF OUR PREVIOUS INTRO: It has been on Nic's radar for months that I was coming after him for this blog.  He finally felt ready and we forced a few hours to ourselves over the weekend to talk - yes, I said hours.  My transcription of our conversation is almost word for word, so it's quite lengthy and I'm going to break it down into his specific points. Alex:   So why did we leave the United States? Nic:  Right… so, you have asked me to give kind of my take on the the political and systemic issues in the United States that made me not optimistic. I haven’t quite prepared this out, but I think it broke down into a few different issues.  First, you’ve got  the breakdown of norms that underpin our system , and that is something I started noticing as far back as 2011 and really crystallized in maybe 2014 to 2016. Second, we have the  systemic level imbalances in our political system that are on a trajectory to only worsen  towards greater minor...

It has been on Nic's radar for months that I was coming after him for this blog.  He finally felt ready and we forced a few hours to ourselves over the weekend to talk - yes, I said hours.  My transcription of our conversation is almost word for word, so it's quite lengthy and I'm going to break it down into his specific points. PART 1 Alex:   So why did we leave the United States?   Nic:   Right… so, you have asked me to give kind of my take on the the political and systemic issues in the United States that made me not optimistic. I haven’t quite prepared this out, but I think it broke down into a few different issues.  First, you’ve got the breakdown of norms that underpin our system , and that is something I started noticing as far back as 2011 and really crystallized in maybe 2014 to 2016. Second, we have the systemic level imbalances in our political system that are on a trajectory to only worsen towards greater minority rule.  Third – and, to a ...